02032026 (love well)

 i imagine a future where we learn to love well

fully and free, giving taking sharing generously

care that flows fearless unforced unfailingly

when things spiral off course, it orients against the source. 

imagine love every night like a north star guiding you home

love like shadow and brown tones, tangled in bedsheets

and somewhere a soft beat keeps the air sweet

cresting and falling like how cooling always follows heat

returning again like how hunger cycles with sleep

will you come back like how the shore always meets the sea?

letting ourselves love imperfectly, forgivingly, 

well because we've dwelled long enough in violence grit and grief

well because shit's hard enough and loving is its own relief

love like a priority, holding humanity 

like breath to chest, ache to rest, touch to flesh

love well cuz what we owe each other is an unpayable debt

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forgive me for being soft and broken,

forgive me for tears at the tired shores of my eyes

every morning, forgive that i hold pain as i hold love

as i hold hope as i hold life, unable still to rescue

bloom from thorn, forgive this flower of my heart that waits, 

and withers, mother, forgive the sadness at the bone, 

forgive the warm blood, forgive the skin and the scars. 

forgive forgive forgive

this human, this child, this life, this longing, this tremble

that curls here in this silent moment, holding on. 

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Incense burns down and smoke cools off. Steam from tea fogs my glasses for a moment. The cloud fixed on the horizon is gone when I look back. Everywhere, leaves are falling. Dust settles again on untouched places, and the body's knots need untangling every morning. Broken things heal and healed things stay a little broken. And somewhere in the middle, my soul rolls like a drop of silver water. Yesterday was rain, and today there's sun. Sometimes there's prayer, and sometimes there's silence.

09272025 (unburdening)

I give to the distant fog
the whisper of my tears;
to clouds that imperceptibly drift,
the dreams I've fiercely held;
to the great big arching sky,
the vastness of my love,
and to September's yellow leaves,
a season of my hurts.
I give my spirit to the roots that steady.
I give my heart to the earth that holds. 

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The sky holds secrets today like eyes that haven't slept.
Pink and bleary, greeting me in the morning.
Dear sky, what night have you endured?
What clouds blotted what stars,
making direction meaningless?
How light was the yellow light that came
like birdsong spreading like gold ink in black waters. 
The day starts dense, soft like the skin of a peach
that I kiss. Good morning, dear sky, returned from shadow.
Thank you for bringing me another morning.

07032025 (pretty little fears)

fears with soft names but sharp teeth
pretty but clawing me in my sleep
skindeep it's sweet like perfume on the surface
scratch underneath, you see what the curse is
i've loved like a storm with nowhere to land
left good men with ghosts still clutched in their hands, hurting, 
hearts cold when they loved so warm
a pretty flower in the sun but i'm rooted in thorns
you reach for a bloom, something grips like barbed wire
arms full of light where darkness eats desire
ache to soften but brace for fire
what if i burn these beautiful hands that
hold me down, lift me higher?

good touch?
never knew it
warm palms grew teeth
and snarled through it
rough fingers
soft skin, soft
little girl, rough
nights that broke her in
raised voices
begot violence
gripped throat shut doors tight lips and
safe silence
clipped wings
cracked nest
afraid to settle, seeking a home, longing to rest. 

want you to see my best side
when i curl into your palms, speak 
the pain out of my chest, i'm
complicated, broken and wrong sometimes
scared to death, still hope i belong with you.
could i tell it like it is? these pretty little fears
let me tremble for a beat, let me be weary and weak
could this be music to your ears? into my ears will you speak
sweet boy, a pretty little harmony?

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Love isn't something you lay with like a blanket.
It's not something you wrap around yourself to stay warm.
It's a hand reaching in the night, a heart beating against your cheek,
a song you seek that hums across bodies, lulling you to sleep with presence.
Skin to skin, pulse to pulse, it reminds you that you exist.
And in the morning, you don't carry it forward like an old trinket. It knocks on your window like fresh daylight and invites you to carry yourself. 

Before your eyes can find the eyes that look for you, you have to find yourself in the dark. Love is that threshold where you meet yourself and it's the home that waits for you out there. The deep stretching yawn that marks how far life goes in your own belly. And the exhale that lets it all go, reaching for another. 
Then you say good morning. Then you share a smile. Then your hands can truly hold. 

Love calls for you like a reflection, a dance of light - the response is yours to arrive into, again and again.