07032025 (pretty little fears)

fears with soft names but sharp teeth
pretty but clawing me in my sleep
skindeep it's sweet like perfume on the surface
scratch underneath, you see what the curse is
i've loved like a storm with nowhere to land
left good men with ghosts still clutched in their hands, hurting, 
hearts cold when they loved so warm
a pretty flower in the sun but i'm rooted in thorns
you reach for a bloom, something grips like barbed wire
arms full of light where darkness eats desire
ache to soften but brace for fire
what if i burn these beautiful hands that
hold me down, lift me higher?

good touch?
never knew it
warm palms grew teeth
and snarled through it
rough fingers
soft skin, soft
little girl, rough
nights that broke her in
raised voices
begot violence
gripped throat shut doors tight lips and
safe silence
clipped wings
cracked nest
afraid to settle, seeking a home, longing to rest. 

want you to see my best side
when i curl into your palms, speak 
the pain out of my chest, i'm
complicated, broken and wrong sometimes
scared to death, still hope i belong with you.
could i tell it like it is? these pretty little fears
let me tremble for a beat, let me be weary and weak
could this be music to your ears? into my ears will you speak
sweet boy, a pretty little harmony?

061925

Love isn't something you lay with like a blanket.
It's not something you wrap around yourself to stay warm.
It's a hand reaching in the night, a heart beating against your cheek,
a song you seek that hums across bodies, lulling you to sleep with presence.
Skin to skin, pulse to pulse, it reminds you that you exist.
And in the morning, you don't carry it forward like an old trinket. It knocks on your window like fresh daylight and invites you to carry yourself. 

Before your eyes can find the eyes that look for you, you have to find yourself in the dark. Love is that threshold where you meet yourself and it's the home that waits for you out there. The deep stretching yawn that marks how far life goes in your own belly. And the exhale that lets it all go, reaching for another. 
Then you say good morning. Then you share a smile. Then your hands can truly hold. 

Love calls for you like a reflection, a dance of light - the response is yours to arrive into, again and again. 

061825

Yesterday sits on my back like a boulder.
Fear in my stomach like a stone.
Face crumpling like a pinch, 

dreams that clutch, needs that grip

and a shadow so tight
even hope turns into choking - let me shed it

and wake like a flower in yellow light,

roots humming, spine straight, 

palms like leaves, uncurling.

Let my path wind 

like a secret

through moss and fern,
sweet things that grow, quiet 

like a love gently tended. 

And let me be patient, 

if nothing else,

still, until mist bathes me 

like a blessing. 

Let my heart bloom in this, become peace,

a garden that we can find sanctuary in.