rhetoric of a blue balls heart

what cruel god creates me
in the image of the paraplegic?
backbone shattered, so,

dimwitted, I tap this
and that for pleasure, forget
deeper chords once struck.

what sets me dead-eyed
before windows and watches
me, so frustrated, fap fap fap, while it

weaves this
widening void where I
grope the wrong end of
the wrench and use
screws as earplugs? what deranged power

made it so that I have a dick but no balls to use it
till I forget the life in me and dully, belly-ache?

on getting things done

Between the forceps of words waiting that heave my eyelids up is

a yellow bird swinging over a horizonless sea, the perch creak-creaking and

her cheep-cheeping and me deep

- deep in so much to do! I rattle the cage and say "what the fuck are you doing?"

she just cocks her head. I lose my -

roll the "cock" around a loving tongue

let the waves take me and make me

a sandwich, eyes closed.